So how do I put my day for you yesterday? Oh okay. Me being tired and wanting a nap, thinking I called my mother an idiot, I said it out-loud. Causing me to be grounded for a day without any electronics. I guess it was a reasonable punishment, if I argued with her even more. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom. She bought me a new stereo today without me asking her (probably cause my last one supposedly "broke" when she borrowed it). Though I feel as if she uses the 'groundation' thing like if it were drugs. It's like I'm always in trouble for something. I don't know if I did anything wrong sometimes. My mom and I argue a lot, my friends thinks its unhealthy for us, but I think that makes us closer. My mom and I don't see it, we say we are just to much a like. Hell, I rather be more like her then Adam (other words; the idiot; other words; my father). My mom is like an addict when it comes to grounding me sometimes. It's like I rather be in my room then hearing both of us yelling at each other. I know this seems like a selfish rampage with my opinions about life, but I need to get it out.
Though I feel as though I do have a lot of anger inside of me. Any teen would, but this isn't about hormones and stuff like that. My father is verbally abusive along with his girlfriend and I don't feel safe around him, my step-father killed himself ten months ago, mostly everyone in my family are alcoholics, I have barely any friends, there is a lot more, but let's say I have anger. I don't mean to rub it in your face. "Yeah, I can beat your ass any day of the week man. CAUSE I GOT ANGER!" No, it's not a good thing. You know why? Cause it comes out when I am around the people I love the most, and that doesn't turn out so great.
It's not like I am mad at you. I guess it's the fact that in my head, I think these people will love me even if I am mean to them. But that's not life. I can't let me anger out on people I love...for thou won't dust...love...me...back? Hah...Shakespeare talk...awkward.
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